UPDATE

UPDATE:Today the Downer returned to work with a walker. It's got a rearview mirror, complete with an American flag and tennis balls. I think there might be an alarm on it. She flaunts it in the hallway outside her cube so ppl have no choice but to notice it and ask her what happened. The person immediately regrets asking this because the Downer will go into a long-winded story about how she broke all her bones and had to get them fixed and she'll continue to complain about her life.

Grab Bags (sold at the Dollar Tree)

yo yo

magic beans (the kind you put in water and they grow into foam figures)

balsa wood airplane

a cap gun

a deputy badge

dinosaur figurine

supersoaker

so im at my desk, bored. typing with a paperclip on my finger like a witch nail or something. I'm hoping nobody sees me or notices but it's too late. Mork walks by and is reminded of his childhood. all of a sudden i hear singing behind me: "Spider webs, rotten eggs purple paint too....stir it in my witches brew, I got maaagic. alla-kazam-akazoo." I immediately take the paperclips off and put them back in my drawer. Meanwhile Mork proceeds to the upstairs conference room followed Wilford and they slam the door. For the next hour, we hear really bad 80s keyboard music (where you hit the button and the beat's already there). I finally decide to peak in the conference and see what the hap's was. Inside I found Mork doing a headstand and scissor-kicking his legs while karaoking to a Rick Astley song "Never Gonna Give You Up." To avoid this awkward situation we slowly shut the door and sneak back out. Not even 5 minutes later we hear the guitar cranked up. We rush to the conference room to see what all the racket was about. Wilford comes from the side door and yells "hey man! let's grind!" with a skateboard over his head. Just then "Sk8r Boi" comes on Guitar Hero and it's Morks turn. Wilford is doing air guitar in the back. They both sing "he was a sk8r boi she said seeya later boi" perfectly as if they've been practicing in the van alot. We both just stand speechless. Towards the end, Mork gets a little too hyped up and takes it too far. He proceeds to smash the game guitar against the table and the wall, smashing it into pieces, debris flying everywhere. The next morning I sign in at my desk and received an email from HR that says: WHOEVER SMASHED THE GUITAR IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM PLEASE REPORT TO HR. Nobody shows. so the office decided to hire an investigator. No other than Joey Greco.