So im walking to work as usual when mork pulls up next to us in the passenger side of his best friends ride trying to holler at me and starts singing "my eyes are getting weeary...my back is getting tight" and the van follows us all the way up to the bldg and hes like "baby all I wanna do is cash my check and drive home to you..." what a loser!
Anyways, so I walk upstairs to my desk and pass Cent (formerly as known as Centaur) and she's got this blank glazed over stare which is magnified by her thick glasses. Her head is tilted at a 60 degree angle with a big dreamy smile on her face. She is dreaming of Mork. Mork Black (see picture). They are staying at his condo at Seacrets. He is sweeping her off her hooves. Centaur was awakened from her fantasy by a mass page projected throughout the office: "Whoever Googled Jerry Mayer…please report to HR immediately."
So I decided to turn myself in thinking how bad can it be? So what if I googled Jerry Mayer?When I walk in the chair is turned around like facing the window and a voice says "have a seat. " Then the chair spins around to reveal none other than Joey Greco. For some reason Joey Greco has a cat sitting on the desk kinda like Dr. claw. He begins the investigation:
Greco: "What do you know about Mayer?"
Me: I don't know anything about Jerry Mayer. That's why I was googling him.
Greco then slides across the desk a picture of Mork Black in front of Seacrets.
Greco: What do you call this?
Me: I-
Greco: What about this?(Greco slides a picture of the door in front of the office with the bug smashed and also a picture we had of Wilford in his mountaineer hat)
Me: where did you get these?
Mork: Paintbrush! Mork appeared from behind the coathanger in a dark corner.
Greco:"we have someone who would like to confront you..."
then Mork emerges from the shadows. Greco slides the last and final picture which we had googled earlier in the week. It was a picture of 'The Beets' from Doug.
Greco: what do you know about the Beets?
Mork interrupts Greco and with an air guitar belts out "KILLER TOFUUUU"Mork gets so into it that he accidentally hits the intercom on the phone so itll go through the whole office... "ooh ee ohhh...killer tofu!" and centaur hears this on her phone and says to no one in particular "that sounds yummy!"
Greco: Mork, please stop.
Mork exits yelling "who ate my edamame??"
Greco: Back to the investigation. what can you tell us about jerry mayer? Before I can respond barton wanders into HR starts talking about Jerry Mayer's website and how he's an actor/producer. Joey Greco turns to his computer and begins to type the website
Greco: is it http://www.jerrymayer.c/-
Barton: oh, grow up Joey! That Mayer is fat and he dyes his hair.
Me- I thought he was bald…
Centaur enters: Oh my God…you guys jerry mayer will be starring in high school musical 3!
Barton: Very nice....
Greco: alright…that settles that matter. We just have, one more thing to ask you. We found this flier on the bathroom wall, do you know anything about it?
BENFEST 2008
Bring your Mexican Ponchos, your Dave Matthews CDs, your Jesus sandle, your orange beards and come on down to BENFEST 08. It will take place on the eastern shore just across the bay bridge. Jumbo Crabs and strippers. Good Boys Club status only. And for the ladies, we are offering "get fit, lose weight" wellness classes. We will provide booze and a ride home and baseball. Bring your catchers mit, we'll fry it up on the grillz (for realz). So put on your soccer cleats, get on your elephant and hop on over to BENFEST! This is the celebration of the greatest employee there ever was………..
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