Centaurs are middled-aged, broke, and known to 'complain about their weight' and pick on others that are of non-centaur descent (whom do not have weight problems). They travel in packs and take 3 hour lunch breaks. Where they consume massive amounts of greasy food packed with sugar. Centaurs often make recurring comments such as "why am i soooo fat?" and "you're sooooo skinny its disgusting" and "oh God too much carbs!! these are good!!" (in a monster voice).
Their diet consists mainly of cheap mexican food served in an assemply line, known as Chipotle. They also like Mexicans. Centaurs frequent chipotle at least 5 TIMES A WEEK. They also enjoy carry out in the form of big, greasy, subs slopped with mayo.
Centaurs are nosy. So beware....they like to be involved in every detail of your life in and outside the office. Should you decide to order carryout, you better include the centaur. If you don't be prepared to face the wrath of the angry, hunger-crazed centaur in a cheap terri cloth sweater...Centaurs get so involved in office politics and games that despite having no $ they will go out and buy $250 video game consoles.
Last but not least, centaurs have an unusual way of standing and/or walking. You will know by their protruding backside, velociraptor-like arms, and a horse-like trot. If you spot this mythical creature, keep your distance.
Someone out there knows a centaur, perhaps it is you...
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