Little Bit of this....little Bit of that

Today's blog will be a little bit of everything (mainly skeevy men at the office). Let's begin with Mork. ahhhh Mork. The creepy mainentance guy who hangs with the shuttle driver (whom is having an affair) on fridays. He has a hair chest that is always visible...we found him on craigslist missed connections under m4w looking for a young girl with high heels...cougar bottom jeans...He also invites young girls to bars in Severna Park (awkward...).

**BATHROOM UPDATE** BREAKING NEWS***

Today, one of the stalls smelled of "soapy shit". Two smells I'd rather not smell together. Also, we just got a report in that apparently someone shit on their hand....and then smeared it right below the toilet paper dispenser directly on the wall. More to come, on this breaking news...

We will end today's blog with a quote from Milton (more on him later...)

Milton(w/ a crazy twinkle in his eye): "body shots? where WHERE gimme gimme! tell me tell me! I have a car, I can drive through the city....very nice"

The Unexplained....

As you may or may not know....centaurs are a mythical half man half horse. There is no scientific proof of their existence. But to those who have seen one, need no scientific explanation. Join me tonight, for this and other unsolved mysteries.....



Centaurs are middled-aged, broke, and known to 'complain about their weight' and pick on others that are of non-centaur descent (whom do not have weight problems). They travel in packs and take 3 hour lunch breaks. Where they consume massive amounts of greasy food packed with sugar. Centaurs often make recurring comments such as "why am i soooo fat?" and "you're sooooo skinny its disgusting" and "oh God too much carbs!! these are good!!" (in a monster voice).

Their diet consists mainly of cheap mexican food served in an assemply line, known as Chipotle. They also like Mexicans. Centaurs frequent chipotle at least 5 TIMES A WEEK. They also enjoy carry out in the form of big, greasy, subs slopped with mayo.

Centaurs are nosy. So beware....they like to be involved in every detail of your life in and outside the office. Should you decide to order carryout, you better include the centaur. If you don't be prepared to face the wrath of the angry, hunger-crazed centaur in a cheap terri cloth sweater...Centaurs get so involved in office politics and games that despite having no $ they will go out and buy $250 video game consoles.

Last but not least, centaurs have an unusual way of standing and/or walking. You will know by their protruding backside, velociraptor-like arms, and a horse-like trot. If you spot this mythical creature, keep your distance.

Someone out there knows a centaur, perhaps it is you...

The aftermath of the Cheaters Stabbing

After Mr. Greco got stabbed while on the scene of Cheaters, Cheaters producers decided to 're-assign'
Mr. Greco to a new job....."the assistant"

Here's how it went down:

1st day on the job. Joey is assigned to write a letter on behalf of his superior, Mayer.


Mayer: Greco! get in here! I need you to send a letter to the client informing him of late notice of cancellation due to nonpayment.

Greco: Sir, I have a couple of questions, would you like that double spaced?

Mayer: uhhh...let's stick with single spaced

Greco: font size 12?

Mayer: welp--

Greco: Would you like Times New Roman?

Greco: Comic Sans?

Greco: Ariel?

Mayer: Damnit Greco! just do it. Answer that damn phone!

Greco: ehhem, good afternoon you've reached Joey Greco. How can we assist you? uhuh......well sure he's right here. But first, I have footage of him
stocking up candy in his office, and then inviting young girls from the office in there for some treats...Would you like to confront him? Sure hold on, (to Mayer) "it's Mrs. Mayer for you"

Mayer is speechless

Where's Waldo?

Tippy Toe gets the axe

As if you didn't expect it. We were all holding our breath. why you ask? could it be the never-coming to work? could it be...every excuse in the book in the course of one month? or could it be the invitation floating around for the sex party. Let me tell you a little ditty about "slumber parties". You've probably heard of them. But if you haven't, you're missing out. We don't even know where to start. Basicially Tippy Toe was selling toys...erotic toys to everyone she came in contact with in the form of parties. It was fine until, the slumber parties met our office. Just think about Tippy Toe bringing a catalogue of all the merchandise and talking about which ones are her and oliver twist's favorites. gross. She sent around a flyer advertising her business and how she was going to have a party (1 martini max per person) at her parents' house while they were out of town. What are we in middle school? She told us to pass it around the office to our single friends in the office....Instead we passed it around to our middle-aged married friends in the office. Who were delight at the invitation: "am im really invited?" Now, I do NOT want to hear about their sex lives, i dont care whehter theyre single, married, straight, mixed. or fat. Let's keep it professional please! We do not know why she got the boot, but I think we have a hunch!