UPDATE

UPDATE: Today on Tuesday, April 8th, the centaur went all out.

For breakfast: she had not one, but two slices of leftover pizza. Sounds like a bad idea. It gets worse. Next, she engorged on a giant chocolate cupcake. Lunch included chicken strips and another unknown substance. All of this was the most "DELICIOUS FOOD" she ever had. what really grinds my gears is the fact that said centaur is allegedly on a diet. Grinding my ghost gears.

Side note: who is "woooooo"ing in the conference like they're on a God Damn roller coaster?

Anyways, you know else grinds my gears? OBRIEN. he's a baby bear. Sources tell us "he's fat." He may seem like an okay guy, but don't be fooled. He's a A class suck-up. It would be wise keep your distance. He went to a Native American College in a Teepee on the Eastern Shore and played soccer. He's never worked in an office, but now he's in the "cool guy" club (which includes producers and the president) where they mainly play golf, discuss sports that they tivo-ed, or go out every weekend and GET RIPPED! In fact when it comes to Murphy and Obrien we can boil it down to one simple equation:

(No Business experience + weener) * Eastern Shore College / (soccer^2)= 'mini-producer'

*be sure to use "Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally" when utilizing this equation.

Last, but not least....why was our shuttle driver pulled over by a cop monday morning and given a sobriety test? And he wonders why I don't ride the shuttle.

• He stalks people: He begins by tailgating them into the lot waits for them to park and then pulls around to the front and waits for you staring intently for long periods of time. Then he gets pissed off when you don't accept the ride. He's creepy. Him and Mork know everything about you.
• He honks when I'm already past the tennis courts...
• It takes even more time to ride the shuttle than it does walking there.
• What is up w/ that hat? Alot of people hate that hat! Are you that cold? when the heat is already blasting so that none of the passengers can breath.
• Finally, I do NOT want to be that close to Mork, mythical creatures or Batman villains.

Why do the centaurs, complain about being fat, when they take the shuttle to avoid walking 500 feet to the office? Riddle Me this....